Student and Mummy...

Wowzers I'll be first in the queue for this;
 
 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6606927.stm

Wedding went brilliantly - everyone looked fab.

Grace took her bridesmaid duty very seriously, and appears in practically every photo, move over Where's Wally we now have, Where's Grace .

I will post some pictures as soon as I work out how to get them from my new mobile phone and onto my pc, so don't hold your breath heehee!

A very close friend of mine is getting married on Saturday, Grace is bridesmaid and I'm a witness.

Choosing something to wear has been a nightmare, I'm not massively overweight but neither am I a size zero. Why don't shops cater for women with a bust and a great flabby rubenesque body?
I'm a size 12/14 and it's so hard to find dresses that fit and look nice, so I've finally settled on this  http://www.next.co.uk/page.asp?b=G32&p=20&o=1

The multi embellished print dress.

It looks niceish .

Still Grace is going to look fab, she's having her hair in a french plait and she has a beautiful dress from House of fraser. The only thing missing will be her front tooth which fell out at the weekend .

Oh and in other news the bunk bed drought has been rectified and they will be with me next Thursday!!

I feel the very need to rant about something.

Childrens Television, in the press today, we are being advised to limit the amount of television that our children watch.

Now, I know that we shouldn't abandon our children in front of the tele, but we all do, at some time or another you have something that you need to get on with and the television is a fantastic babysitter.

In this modern age of digital television, we don't even have the worry of there not being anything suitable on. There is a whole channel - CBeebies - for those among us with no children , dedicated to amusing out littlest members of society.

This is a very important job, amusing our littlest, and I have often entrusted my children to the channel for disgustingly long short periods of time. So imagine my utter horror, when a few weeks ago, I actually sat with the children for the briefest of moments and saw exactly what it is that they are watching, CBeebies newest creation.........

In The Night Garden.

The programme is 25 minutes long - 25 minutes too long in my opinion.

The main characters are - Iggle piggle, upsy daisy and makka pakka.

They live in a garden, they travel in a big hot air balloon called the pinky ponk, they also travel on a train called the ninky nonk. One of them pushes a trike called the og pog, they have little friends called the pontipines and the tomblioos...............

There is no proper speech in the programmes just a narrator telling you over and over again that they are going for a ride in the ninky nonk or whatever.

It isn't educational like The Tweenies it's utter trash - and my kids aged 3 and 6 absolutely love it...........

With programmes like this being aired to our littlest folk it's no wonder we have such a high amount of 16-24 years olds out of employment or education - they've all lost the will to function!

Today I've been really busy getting Thomas out of his bedroom and into Grace's.

We were supposed to be getting bunk beds before Mum moves in but the arseholes at Argos have informed me that they have actually sold more of these particular beds than they have in stock. This therefore means that they won't be able to deliver them as they had promised, and infact I may have to wait yonks.
But I was reliably informed by the idiot nice man on the phone, that I've chosen the same product as everyone else, that's why they are suffering this drought......! A bunk bed drought have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?
At least this means that when I do eventually get them, we'll be dead trendy .

So anyhow I've managed to fit Toms starter bed into Grace's bedroom and all the toys and crap is in there too and it all fits - both kids went to bed ok this evening, and I only needed to read the riot act to them once for messing about.

So everythings fab

I took the kids to McDonalds because I couldn't be bothered to cook thought they deserved a treat.

I ate a cheeseburger and fries. I also ate a cream cake today and a king size Twix.

So I'm going to have a bath while Giles eats his dinner cos my mouths watering and I'm starving.......

....Is it normal for one person to consume so much yet still be starving?

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is, do I point at my privates when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice!

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

Someone emailed me this and I thought it was mildly amusing for a Thursday morning...

THIS, yes THIS is my 100th post

I have very little to say but was anxious to get to the milestone

I think from now on I'm going to try to post something everyday........

I'm feeling pretty content right now........

a curry is cooking

I've managed to print my power point presentation for tomorrow

Holby City is on

............it doesn't take much

Everything seems to be going well at the moment.

I haven't put a family update on for a while so here goes....

The kids are well, we've had a few colds and coughs in the Easter holiday but nothing terrible, only one course of antibiotics was required!
We seem to have a bout of conjunctivitis doing the rounds at home at the moment, starting with Grace , then me and now Giles - so full infection control has swung into force and we are using seperate towels .

Grace and Tom are both doing really well at swimming, Grace has been going to lessons now for nearly 2 years and can swim brilliantly, she's just started wanting to dive which is quite amusing. She gets herself into full diving pose then jumps in - bless her she hasn't quite grasped it means head first.
Toms been going swimming since he turned 3 in January, he is very cautious about putting his face in, but we all went last night for a dip and he actually went right under and actually seemed to enjoy it!

We've finished decorating in the lounge and are about to start on the kitchen, which I'm dreading.

College is going ok, I've got a 10 minute power point presentation on Anorexia to do tomorrow evening and I'm not looking forward to it at all. But after that just one more assignment for Sociology and one more for Psychology and it's all over - yay! Then a nice long break before starting uni in September.

Finally on a very positive note, Giles has managed to give up smoking for a month now, and we are all still sane   how good is that??!!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish have no brains

Polar bears are left-handed.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Now i'm not totally sure on the accuracy of these things so don't take them as gospel

.....I was contemplating this last night.

A meduim sized spider was stalking across my bedroom ceiling. How do they stick up there?

Sometimes they fall don't they, it could have fallen on me - even though it wasn't over me at the time.

How far do they travel in a night?

Is across the other side of the room a mammouth journey for him?

Luckily for me this morning he was still up there, so I hadn't swallowed him in the night